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假如你是李华,请根据下表内容分,给校长写一封120词左右的建议信。 现状 吃饭时...

假如你是李华,请根据下表内容分,给校长写一封120词左右的建议信。

现状

吃饭时人太多,要排很长时间的队(queue);还有不少的同学占位(occupy),这使很多同学没有吃饭的座位。

措施

禁止占位;

各年级轮流吃饭,如可以让高年级的同学晚去十分钟吃饭;

有条件的话,再建一个食堂

 

要求:1. 可适当增加细节,以使文章连贯、通顺;

2.开头和结尾已写好,不计入总词数。

Dear Headmaster,

I am writing to make some suggestions for improving the dinning conditions of our school.

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Yours,

Li Hua

 

Dear Headmaster, I am writing to make some suggestions for improving the dining conditions of our school. Because too many students have lunch in the dining room and therefore it takes quite a long time to queue. Worse still, some even occupy seats for their friends and classmates, which makes quite a few students unable to find tables to sit at. Immediate measures should be taken to solve the problem. First, it must be forbidden to occupy seats. Second, students in different grades can take turns to have lunch. For example, those in higher grades can have lunch ten minutes late. Anyway, the best way is to build a new dining room, if possible. There are my suggestions and I hope they could mean something for a better future of the dining conditions. I am looking forward to your reply. Yours, Li Hua 【解析】这是一篇提纲类作文。根据题干可知:假如你是李华,要求你根据表格中的内容,给校长写一封120词左右的建议信。表格中的内容涉及餐厅吃饭的现状以及解决措施。 同时要注意以下几点: 1.通篇以一般现在时态为主。 2. 要点要齐全。但是不要对要点进行简单的罗列。可以使用适当的连接词,使上下文行文流畅,衔接自然流程。 3.注意语气。既然这是一封建议信,语气应诚恳,委婉地提出自己的建议。 【范文亮点】 1. 文章层次分明,要点齐全,首先说明了餐厅就餐的现状,其次提出了自己的解决措施,语言生动流畅。 2.此外,文章还运用了"Worse still,occupy"高分词语及词组以及“Worse still, some even occupy seats for their friends and classmates, which makes quite a few students unable to find tables to sit at. ”非限制性定语从句。  
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文中共有10处错误,每句中最多有两处。错误涉及一个词的增加、删除或修改。增加:在缺词处加一个漏词符号(/\),并在此符号下面写出该加的词。

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