Question

根据下面的提示，以A famous British nurse为题介绍英国著名的护士——佛罗伦斯·南丁格尔。

1.佛罗伦斯·南丁格尔于1920年5月12日出生。

2.1851年，她被训练为护士。

3.三年后，她去了英国军事医院以便她能帮助英国士兵。在她到来之前，因为医院不卫生，很多士兵在医院里死去。南丁格尔努力工作使医院清洁卫生，让士兵不再死去。

4.当她1856年回到英格兰时，她已是一位民族女英雄。

5.南丁格尔写了两本关于护理的书，她还创办了一所学校培训护士。

6.1910年8月13日，她在伦敦逝世，享年90岁。

Answer

A famous British nurse

Florence Nightingale was born on 12th May 1820. In 1851, she was trained as a nurse. Three years later, she went to a British military hospital so that she could help British soldiers. Before she arrived, many soldiers died in the hospital because it was dirty. Florence Nightingale worked hard to make the hospital clean and save soldiers’ lives. When she returned to Britain in 1856, she became a national hero. Florence Nightingale wrote several books about nursing, and she also started a school to train nurses. She died in London on 13th August 1910, when she was ninety years old.

【解析】这篇作文要求我们根据提示，写一篇短文介绍著名的护士南丁格尔。题目中给出了具体的写作内容，我们需要用正确的英语将这些内容表达出来，但是要注意英语表达和汉语是不一样的，我们不能逐字的去翻译成英语，要从句子的整体去考虑，使用什么句型和短语去表达。而且这几个方面不能孤零零的直译出来，还需要使他们成为一个连贯的整体，这就需要一些连词和副词，在文章中起到串联的作用。这篇短文应主要使用一般过去时态，要注意动词过去式形式的变化，尤其是不规则动词过去式的变化。

点睛：这是一篇优秀的范文，短文根据提示介绍了英国著名的护士南丁格尔。这篇短文是按照时间的顺序来记叙的，很有条理。其次短文包含了题目要求的所有信息，内容完整、充实，没有遗漏要点；第三这篇短文使用了正确的人称和时态，特别是注意了不规则动词过去式形式的变化，非常准确；最后短文里有一些较好的句型，如Three years later, she went to a British military hospital so that she could help British soldiers. 、Before she arrived, many soldiers died in the hospital because it was dirty、When she returned to Britain in 1856, she became a national hero. 、Florence Nightingale wrote several books about nursing, and she also started a school to train nurses等。