Twenty-five years ago, as a parent educator, I began reading about the dangers of praise. I was completely shocked by what I was learning: praise is not good for our kids. How could that be? So I spent years talking with experts, reading about the effects of praise, and finally decided to close the door on praise and focus on building an encouraging family.
Even today, with many studies available to parents, I still hear people say, “How can that be? How can saying ‘Good job’ or ‘You’re smart’ be bad?” I understand. It can be a difficult habit to break.
If we tell a boy “You are so smart!” when he brings home an A in his math test, how does he feel when he comes home with a D? If we’ve told him that he is smart, then he will more likely feel a failure when he struggles with homework — “I’m supposed to be smart. Why can’t I do this?”
Praise trains children to depend on constant feedback on what a “great job” they are doing. This dependency shatters rather than builds children’s confidence. Praise trains children to ask, “Do you like it?” “Did I do a good job?” “Are you proud of me?” They begin to believe that what others think is more important than what they think about their achievements and mistakes.
Praise breaks the relationship between parents and children. Without even realizing it, parents may be using praise as a tool to direct the child’s behavior. The message is clear — I approve of you when you … and I do not approve of you when you … Living with this kind of constant judgment can damage not only the child’s confidence but also the relationship.
The solution to the problem of praise is encouragement. Encouragement can be given at any time, to anyone, in any situation. It is a comment, an acknowledgment, a statement that focuses on effort, improvement or choice. Hearing “You are so smart!” can leave a child at a loss when they don’t do well in a test. Using “That took a lot of work to come home with an A in your test …” gives a child the chance to be something else.
1.What can be inferred from the first two paragraphs?
A. Many parents can’t get on well with their children.
B. The author never shows any approval to his children.
C. It’s hard for many parents to believe praise is harmful.
D. The author spent 25 years changing people’s opinion on praise.
2.According to the passage, it seems that parents’ praise ______.
A. can lead to children’s being smart
B. might have just the opposite effect
C. is a good tool to educate their children
D. helps them get along well with their children
3.Which of the following is a good example of encouragement?
A. You are very good at math.
B. You are the best artist I have ever seen.
C. You have a problem and you have to fix it.
D. You didn’t think you could finish in time, but you did.
Seventy-three-year-old George McNeilon selected his food in Value Mart very carefully. After leaving the cashier, he estimated (估计) that he had saved 80 cents and thought that he had got good value for his money again.
At the exit, the chilly wind reminded him of his gloves. “Now where are they?” He searched here and there, but nowhere could he find them. He was sure he was wearing them when he entered the store. The worried man made a second search in all his pockets, again including the grocery bag. He was sure they must have been dropped somewhere inside the store.
George bought the gloves at a 25% discount, for just $30, ten years ago. They were genuine lambskin (小羊皮), soft, warm and durable. Until then, he had worn cheaper man-made material that lasted no more than three years. His impulsive decision to buy the expensive gloves turned out to be a good one, which even promoted his social status on the bus, as passengers stared at him enviously for six months out of the year. He enjoyed being envied.
Bad luck, George thought, to lose his expensive gloves on New Year’s Eve. He reentered the store and followed the same route he had walked before. But several minutes of anxious search turned out to be in vain. “Society has changed. People have changed …” he murmured to himself. “Years ago, if people picked up something lost, they would give it back.”
Back home, George was at a loss. In deep winter, he could not do anything without a pair of gloves. If he bought cheap ones, he would have to replace them very soon. If he bought new leather ones, they would cost forty dollars.
After the holiday, poor George decided to buy another pair of leather gloves. Before boarding the subway, he stepped into Value Mart again to see if by any chance his gloves had been returned to the lost and found office.
“What color are they?” the woman in the office asked.
“Black,” he answered.
She looked into her drawer and drew out a pair of men’s leather gloves.
“Are they?”
“Yes! Those are mine!”
1.Which of the following is the most probable reason for George’s shopping?
A. To kill time in Value Mart as usual.
B. To prepare for the coming New Year.
C. To prove how wise he was with money.
D. To see whether there were gloves on sale.
2.What do we know about old George McNeilon?
A. Pure but impolite. B. Clever but simple.
C. Economical but vain. D. Warmhearted but poor.
3.What can be inferred from the passage?
A. In daily life, accidents will happen. B. Never ever jump to conclusions.
C. A penny saved is a penny earned. D. A loss may turn out to be a gain.
Read the passage and fill in the blanks with proper words or the proper forms of the given words.
Why don’t birds get lost on their long migratory (迁移的) flights? Scientists tried their best 1. (find) the answer to this question for many years. The reasons 2. (discover) lately.
Not long ago experiments showed that birds depend 3. the sun to guide them during daylight hours. But what about birds 4. fly mainly at night? Tests with man-made stars have proved that certain night-flying birds are able to follow the stars in their long-distance flights.
One such bird, a warbler (莺), had spent its lifetime in a cage and had never flown under a(n) 5. (nature) sky. Yet it showed its ability by birth to use the stars for guidance. The bird’s cage 6. (put) under a man-made star-filled sky at migration time. The bird tried to fly in the same direction as the one that 7. (take) by other birds in the building. Any change in the position of the make-believe (虚构的) stars caused a change in the direction of its flight.
Scientists think that warblers, 8. they fly in daylight, use the sun for guidance. But stars are clearly their important means of navigation (导航). What do they do when the stars are hidden behind the clouds? Clearly, they find their way by such landmarks as mountains, coastlines and river courses. But when it’s too dark 9. (see) these, warblers circle 10. (help), unable to find out where they were.
It was not until I had read your e-mail _____ I understood what you had done for the students.
A. why B. when
C. which D. that
What makes the school proud is _____ more than 100 students have gone to key universities.
A. whether B. that
C. what D. how
Frank hasn’t got any hobbies — _____ you call watching TV a hobby.
A. unless B. how
C. when D. whether
