Pacing and Pausing
Sara tried to befriend her old friend Steve's new wife, but Betty never seemed to have anything to say. While Sara felt Betty didn't hold up her end of the conversation, Betty complained to Steve that Sara never gave her a chance to talk. The problem had to do with expectations about pacing and pausing.
Conversation is a turn-taking game. When our habits are similar, there's no problem. But if our habits are different, you may start to talk before I'm finished or fail to take your turn when I'm finished. That's what was happening with Betty and Sara.
It may not be coincidental that Betty, who expected relatively longer pauses between turns, is British, and Sara, who expected relatively shorter pauses, is American. Betty often felt interrupted by Sara. But Betty herself became an interrupter and found herself doing most of the talking when she met a visitor from Finland. And Sara had a hard time cutting in on some speakers from Latin America or Israel.
The general phenomenon, then, is that the small conversation techniques, like pacing and pausing, lead people to draw conclusions not about conversational style but about personality and abilities. These habitual differences are often the basis for dangerous stereotyping (思维定式). And these social phenomena can have very personal consequences. For example, a woman from the southwestern part of the US went to live in an eastern city to take up a job in personnel. When the Personnel Department got together for meetings, she kept searching for the right time to break in --- and never found it. Although back home she was considered outgoing and confident, in Washington she was viewed as shy and retiring. When she was evaluated at the end of the year, she was told to take a training course because of her inability to speak up.
That's why slight differences in conversational style --- tiny little things like microseconds of pause --- can have a great effect on one's life. The result in this case was a judgment of psychological problems --- even in the mind of the woman herself, who really wondered what was wrong with her and registered for assertiveness training.
1.What did Sara think of Betty when talking with her?
A. Betty was talkative. B. Betty was an interrupter.
C. Betty did not take her turn. D. Betty paid no attention to Sara.
2.57. According to the passage, who are likely to expect the shortest pauses between turns?
A. Americans. B. Israelis. C. The British. D. The Finns.
3.58. We can learn from the passage that ______.
A. communication breakdown results from short pauses and fast pacing
B. women are unfavorably stereotyped in eastern cities of the US
C. one's inability to speak up is culturally determined sometimes
D. one should receive training to build up one's confidence
One effective way of destroying happiness is to look at something and focus on even the smallest fault. It’s like looking at the tiled(铺瓦的)ceiling and concentrating on the space where one tile is .
Once I heard a bald man said, “whenever I enter a room I see is hair.” Once you’ve what your missing tile is, explore whether acquiring it will make you happy. Then do one of the three things: get it, replace it with a different , or forget about it and the tiles in your life that are not missing.
We all know people who have a relatively life, yet are essentially unhappy. while people who have suffered a great deal but remain happy.
The first is gratitude. All happy people are . Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to , but it’s truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy.
The second secret is that happiness is a byproduct of something else. The most obvious are those pursuit that give our lives purpose — anything studying insects to playing baseball. The more passions we have, the more happiness we are to experience.
Finally, the belief that something permanent goes beyond us and that our has some larger meaning can help us to feel happier. We a spiritual faith, or a philosophy, it should this truth: if you choose to find the in every situation, you will be blessed, and if you choose to find the awful, you will be cursed. As with happiness itself, this is your decision to make.
1.A、different B、missing C、short D、broken
2.A、nothing B、none C、all D、anything
3.A、determined B、predicted C、assumed D、imagined
4.A、completely B、naturally C、hopefully D、really
5.A、tile B、brick C、ceiling D、house
6.A、look on B、focus on C、count on D、rely on
7.A、peaceful B、difficult C、easy D、ordinary
8.A、certainly B、merely C、hardly D、generally
9.A、secret B、factor C、rule D、key
10.A、wealthy B、grateful C、proud D、generous
11.A、upset B、quarrel C、complain D、depress
12.A、admitting B、assuming C、proving D、realizing
13.A、sources B、results C、answers D、goals
14.A、among B、from C、through D、for
15.A、probable B、possible C、likely D、capable
16.A、value B、destination C、survival D、existence
17.A、need B、lack C、demand D、expect
18.A、involve B、include C、absorb D、mean
19.A、worst B、best C、positive D、negative
20.A、absolutely B、totally C、exactly D、largely
---He is a very hard-working student.
---________. As far as I know, he often burns the midnight oil.
A. You can say that again B. Absolutely not
C. Heaven knows. D. No way
________ some teenagers don’t realize is ________ difficult life can be after they get addicted to drugs.
A. What; how B. That; how C. What; what a D. That; what
He was _________of looking down upon the disabled person in public, but he turned a deaf ear to it.
A. condemned B. charged C. accused D. blamed
The newly built cafe, the walls of ______ painted light green, is really a peaceful place for us, especially after hard work.
A. whose B. it C. what D. which